irishcar.com - A Day at Millbrook Proving Ground

There I was, driving a Porsche 911 Targa around the Millbrook Proving Ground Bowl and the next thing is that I’m overtaken by a chugging Smart car.

It’s a funny feeling.

Of course, I WAS slowing down, in a lower lane of the Bowl, preparatory to leaving the circuit, and the Smart driver was only getting into his stride (599cc engine allowing a maximum of 82mph and needing a real long stretch to get there), and bravely or crazily willing to mix it with some seriously heavy motoring machinery, even a DAF truck, on the high speed circuit.

It was my first ever experience of the UK Society of Motor Manufacturers & Traders annual Test Day, to which I had been invited courtesy of Volvo, and it was a motor writers dream: a Motor Show where you could get into any car you fancied and drive it over all the superb variety of test roads and surfaces at Millbrook.

A few words about that facility first, before getting into the cars. It’s a high-security operation, well wooded and hidden from public view, which car manufacturers from all over Europe use to try out new vehicles and new running gear prior to final development and eventual release to the buying public. It is so busy that even while us motor journos were there, some makers were running disguised prototypes around amongst us, and taking photographs outside a couple of very specified areas would have resulted in instant pouncing on by staff and swift ejection from the day.

Apart from the Bowl, on which one could do up to 130mph in the topmost lane (and then only with a manufacturer’s rep in the passenger seat), strict everyday maximum speeds of 55mph had to be observed, and there was no question of ‘boy racers’ of any age being tolerated.

The fun is having such a variety of terrain, including 21-degree gradients, carefully-built good and bad cambers, subtle surface corrugations in unexpected places, and the knowledge that you could get a really good everyday feel for a car in just a few miles, without doing anything drastic.

As to the cars themselves, some 39 UK franchisees or manufacturers had examples of their smallest and biggest and ‘just rights’, and because my own time was limited due to a prior commitment that evening outside Glasgow, I knew I didn’t have the chance to get around everything. So, given that specifications of common cars would be different anyhow, I plumped in most cases for cars I’d never get the chance to drive back here.

I give you first - or Ford gave me, really - a copy of the latest ‘Bullitt’ version of the legendary Mustang (above). It is without doubt mean looking, and the paper details are, as far as they go, interesting - a 4.6-litre V8 engine outputting 265bhp. No actual performance figures are available in the bumpf, apart from a not unexpected whopping torque and an aerodynamics factor that was poor enough.

American cars are not in contest with European makes when it comes to interior finish, and the Bullitt proved to be even tackier inside than many I’ve driven. Bad start. But it got worse when I tried to find a comfortable driving position. Not possible. So I ended up driving it around as if I had a big belly in front of me. And it had no precision. Having grown up in the 60s on US magazines Road & Track and Car & Driver, the current Mustang was a total disappointment.

Then, because they were my hosts and because their cars were part of the overall Ford Empire and on display in the same general area, I took two Volvos out, the C70 T5 convertible and the S80 2.4T (above). Two different cars for different environments, and both very good in their different ways. Indeed, it was in the convertible that I felt what I thought was strongish scuttle shake, and then found in the next car that it was actually those subtle surface corrugations I mentioned, which were secreted into a downhill bend and made themselves felt in everything I drove for the morning.

I should mention the the V70XC I had driven the 70 miles from Birmingham in the previous day (and later that day to get me back to the airport). It feels quite the best Volvo estate ever built, and in its automatic version was probably the best possible car to quickly, comfortably and safely shift over the three motorways I had to use in those journeys. I suspect that when Americans buy current Volvos, they have serious comparisons to make with many of the domestic cars, even luxury ones, made in their own country.

The next choice was the smallest in the place, a Smart. I’ve given you the figures already, and the pictures show it to be exactly what it is, a chopped-two-seater with luggage space that is cheeky and chirpy (and noisy, too, I found when I got it out on the road). I wondered if it would be able for the 21-degree inclines, but in fact it managed, though without sprinting. It’s very much a city car, but the driving position was easily better than the Mustang, though I suppose it wouldn’t have made the same visual impact in the famous Steve McQueen car chase.

Out of that and being on the Daimler/Chrysler stand anyway, I spotted an SLK Mercedes that nobody seemed to want at the time. Though my picture shows it topless, I had to drive it with the roof up because it started to rain as I sat in. But a very smooth machine, wonderfully finished, though I was a snug enough fit. Going from ridiculous to sublime is always a nice comparison.

And then it was back to ridiculous again, as across the road was a stand of London taxis! Surely I’d never get the chance to drive one again, so over I go. Chatting with one of the guys on the stand, I even got an invitation to come over and see them being built sometime. And a perusal of the extraordinary comprehensive brochure gave me a feel about what taxi drivers look for when they go out to buy a vehicle. For the passengers there are items like flip-down intermediate steps and ‘puddle lights’ under the doors as well as an induction loop intercom system that can broadcast direct to a hearing aid.

For the driver, a strong security screen and one-touch door locking, with full control of individual doors are musts. As is certain comfort, given that a taxi driver can spend over 3,000 hours a year in his vehicle. The power is provided by a 2.4-litre Ford Dura Torq turbodiesel, familiar to Transit van drivers. London Taxis International have been making various versions of their ‘black taxi’ since 1948, and since their first, the models have only changed five times.

And yes, I DID drive it. You wouldn’t exactly throw it into bends, and the gearing and stuff seems tweaked more to deal with flatter conditions than the 21-degree inclines, but it was a fun experience.

After that, it was time for a bit of punch again, and it was then I took out the Porsche with which I opened this piece. Their rules were that one of their drivers should accompany anyone taking a car out, which was OK by me, as I’m not very familiar with the brand. It had the power, and I guess it had the handling to do an awful lot more than I’d ever ask it to. The memorable part was bringing it in for my first run in the Bowl, which has its own peculiarities, mainly how disoriented you can get going around a featureless two-mile circle at speed.

It happened after that that I found a spare Maserati Coupe looking for somebody to take it for a run. Super-looking in a sexy kind of way, and red-leathered everywhere inside. I won’t bore you with the details, but it also showed me where those odd-shaped guys who used to design the driving positions of Alfas went to ... the driving position rivalled the Mustang’s for discomfort. But the car felt a lot classier.

I didn’t take it to the bowl, just around the countryside. But someone must have been doing bad things in another copy of it in the Bowl, because I was stopped on the way back in and asked very sternly if I’d been in the car in that part of the facility. I wonder who got their day shortened?

Finally, I took runs in a few of VW Group products - first the W8 Passat 4-Motion (above) which certainly is smooth and luxurious, but you’d be more or less keeping it a secret from your neighbour unless he could see the small logo that distinguished the car from its lesser versions. Then an Audi Cabriolet (below) was available and left me with the impression that it might well be the best cabrio I’ve ever driven.

And finally a Skoda Superb, that brand’s new luxury car which is longer than the Passat, exceptionally luxurious, and will undoubtedly totally confuse the luxury/large car market when launched here later in the month. It was powered by the 2.8-litre V6 which is familiar at the Irish upper ends of Audi and Passat.

And ... get this ... the most satisfying car I drove on the whole morning was ... the Skoda Superb.

Next year I’m going to make sure I have the whole day. because it is the ultimate play day for boys and their toys. I think the girls liked them too.